Mummy's Little Angel's

Taking a break from it all........

2009-09-27T11:13:00.003+01:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a very long time! I have been rushed off my feet with the 2 little one's!! It seems that there aren't enough hours in the day anymore! Baby keeps me well and truly busy, although she is very very good!! She sleeps all night now (has been since 9 weeks or thereabouts!!), which is fantastic!!

The lil man is getting more and more grown up every day! We took him to visit a home education group that operates in our area, which he loved. So we'll be bringing him there every week from now on.

Anyway, as I just don't get a chance to update this blog, I'm going to hand over the reigns to my husband for a little while, so expect the editorial angle to change!!

I'll pop back every now and then, when I can.

LOL

xxxxxxxx

6 weeks on.....

2009-08-05T08:57:00.010+01:00

Hi There

Sorry it's been a while since I last updated, but with the demands of a newborn and 3 year old, there just aren't enough hours in the day at the moment!!

Anyway, we both had our 6 week check last week and have both been given the all clear! Isabella is getting really big! She is becoming a real character - very demanding!!

Well, I managed to take some pictures of our fabulous consultant with Isabella at my appointment. Here they are - don't they look fabulous together!!

We'll never be able to thank her enough for everything that she has done for us! She truly is the best! She's even going to come to Isabella's christening at the end of the month - which means a lot to us all.

Well, I've got a million things to organise for the christening - it's turning in to a major event! I'll try and update soon.

Bye for now xxx

Introducing Isabella.................

2009-07-07T07:55:00.010+01:00

Hi All

I've managed to upload some pictures of Isabella and her big brother eventually!! So here they are...........

Sorry there aren't more, but I've only manages to upload them via my mobile as my camera won't work with my PC!!

Isabella and her big brother are getting on swimmingly. He is very protective over her and absolutely adores her. She is a little monkey...very vocal!! She loves her food and is certainly keeping us busy! Anyway, I'm off to sort her out now, sounds like she's calling me!!

LOL xxx

She's Here....Happy Father's Day Daddy!!!

2009-06-21T13:20:00.003+01:00

Hi All

That's right, she's here! What a wonderful present for Daddy on his special day!

Isabella arrived by C-section, as planned, on 18th June 2009. She weighed in at 7lb 7oz and is absolutely perfect! She screamed the operating theatre down the minute her head appeared.

She is beautiful. She sleeps most of the day, and enjoys being awake most of the night! Typical, eh?? We're just so happy to have her. Her big brother is totally smitten with her. He's turning out to be a fantastic big brother and a great little helper too! He wants to be involved in everything and we encourage that. We don't want him to feel left out and we want him to enjoy having his little sister around.

Anyway, I'm trying to sort out some piccies soon, but we have problems with the camera. Once I can, I'll post some of the new addition.

Happy Father's Day to all the dad's out there.

LOL xxx

D-Day is almost here!!

2009-06-15T10:51:00.002+01:00

2 days to go, and I don't mind saying that I'm terrified!! I'm convincing myself that something will go wrong with the c-section and that I won't make it. I've had one before, so I know what to expect, but that doesn't stop me from being scared. I have total faith in my consultant, she is fantastic, but there is a niggling voice chipping away at my confidence. I'm sure it will all be fine and that I'm just over worrying...as usual!

I think we're almost ready for our little arrival. Her clothes are clean and ironed. Bags are almost packed. We're going food shopping on Wednesday to keep the fella's going while I'm in hospital and for a few days after I come home.

Hubby painted a corner of our bedroom pink and made it all girly for when Isabella comes home. He wanted to make everything nice for her! I have to admit, before it was done I thought he was being a bit OTT, but it does look lovely. Very girly!!

Anyway, We're off to the seaside in a bit. We want to take the lil man out somewhere nice before Thursday. I'll try and post again soon.

LOL xxxxx

Sorry it's been a while!!!!

2009-06-07T11:03:00.002+01:00

Hi Y'all

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but we've been going through a very difficult time lately, lots has happened, and I just haven't had the chance.

Well, it's a little over a week until the big day arrives, and I don't mind admitting that I'm getting a bit nervous now!! We're nearly ready for our new arrival. The pink paint is up and the clothes are washed and pressed. We're just waiting for a new crib to be delivered as the one we were sent was in a sorry state!

I've been off work for a week already. I've been enjoying the time off. We've been going for walks in the forest (which, I thought, had brought on labour the other day!!), and been doing some last minute shopping. I even managed to get to my boss' works hen party last week, which was nice.

Anyway, I'm not sure when I will be able to check in again. So much is still happening and time is very scarce. However, when I can, I will.

LOL xxx

One Year on......

2009-05-06T19:19:00.002+01:00

Today is exactly one year since my baby girl passed away. It has been quite a surreal day. Difficult in many ways. We have found it very difficult to get going today, and only made it out of the house after lunch. We went to the cemetary, just to spend some time with our little angel. The lil man stayed asleep for most of the time...typical eh?!!! We're going to release a balloon at 8pm to mark the time when we believe she passed away. Saturday marks one year since our baby was born. Two very difficlut days that we will have to deal with for the rest of our lives..........

Losing a friend.........

2009-04-23T18:19:00.005+01:00

Today was quite a sad day for me. A friend of mine, someone I worked closely with, passed away on 13th April, and I attended her funeral today. She had been battling cancer of the pancreas for 2 years. She was a very brave and determined woman and will be deeply missed by all who knew her. I, for one, will miss our long chats and the incredibly helpful advice she would give me, especially about my son. I always felt I could turn to her for advice, and always trusted that what she told me was right.

RIP dear Georgina. Gone but never forgotten.

xxx

Happy Birthday Lil Man!!

2009-04-21T08:09:00.002+01:00

Today is the lil man's 3rd birthday! He woke up this morning to a room filled with baloons and lots of presents. He is a very happy boy!

It's amazing how quickly time goes by. I'm a little bit sad in a way because my baby is getting so big so quickly!! Alas, we cannot avoid them growing up and have to make the most of the time we have together before they grow up and leave the nest (so to speak)!!

Anyway, we're off to watch one of his new Thomas DVD's and have some breakfast.

LOL xxx

Happy Easter!!

2009-04-12T11:30:00.005+01:00

Happy Easter everyone!!

A lot has happened since last Easter, especially the passing of our beautiful daughter. Somehow, we have managed to get through that incredibly difficult time and now celebrate this Easter with hope and anticipation for the future.

We have just come back from mass and are now preparing for our Easter meal before we go visit my in-laws. The lil man was given an Easter egg at the end of mass by the priest (they give alll the children an egg every year), which he didn't let go of all the way home. Needless to say, by the time we got home, the egg was all but a pile of mush! I managed to persuade him to let me put it in the fridge because luckily, I had another one on standby!!

Anyway, I hope you all have a wonderful Easter day.

xxx

Lil man learns a valuable lesson......

2009-04-05T14:42:00.004+01:00

It was coming to the end of a long day for my son and husband on Thursday. They had walked a 5 1/2 mile round trip to the museum and hubby decided that he would bring the lil fella to the park for a kick about before coming to meet me from work. I should probably state at this point that the lil man is at a stage where he wants to do EVERYTHING himself, a real MR Independence!! Anyway, as they were going down the stairs to exit our building, Mr Independence decided that he wanted to do it by himself, pulled away from daddy and proceeded to descend. Before he had a chance to make it to the 2nd step, he lost his balance and went tumbling down the stairs (about 4 in all), and bumped his head. The poor man that lives downstairs threw his cup of hot drink all over himself trying to catch monkey boy before he fell! Luckily, the lil fella only sustained a couple of very minor bruises. He was upset for a few seconds (and I dare say a little embarrassed), but all in all he was fine. I do feel that he learned a valuable lesson though as he keeps saying that he has to be careful and holds our hand without a fight now!!

Anyway, we haven't really been up to much more than the usual lately. I've still got just under 3 long weeks until my next hospital appointments, which, I must admit, feels like an eternity!! Nevertheless, I am persevering!

LOL for now xxx

Delivery date confirmed!!!

2009-03-28T14:35:00.005Z

As I mentioned previously, I went and saw our consultant again yesterday. She seems happy with our progress so far. I told her that I've been having some major doubts about having a natural delivery, and so I've deceided to have an elective c-section. She was fine with this, and we've booked it for 18th June!! So looks like it's full steam ahead! At least now we have a definite date to work towards/look forward to and I'm not going to stress out about going in to labour!!

Anyway, as promised, here are a couple more pictures of Isabella......

So, my next appointment isn't for 4 WEEKS!! This is pretty scary for me as it's the longest I will have gone without seeing Isabella. I'm going to try and stay positive, and not panic every 5 minutes....here's hoping anyway!! I'll try and update again soon.....

xxxx

26 weeks 3 days and counting!!

2009-03-26T18:36:00.002Z

I had another scan today. Everything went fine. Isabella is growing perfectly, and is measuring in at approximately 2lb 2oz. She is looking more and more gorgeous every time we see her!!

As we were getting ready to leave, the lil man got down from his seat and somehow, and I don't know how, he managed to do something to his foot which meant we had to spend the next 3+ hours in A&E getting xrays etc. Turns out he has a soft tissue injury. He wouldn't walk on it at all earlier, but seems to be getting on fine now. Kids eh!!

Anyway, I have another appointment with my consultant tomorrow morning, so will hopefull update again after that. I'll also try to remember to upload the scan picture, when I get a minute!!

LOL xxx

Contrasts

2009-03-13T15:29:00.024Z

Today I had my next scan. There was a bit of a hiccup because we were told an appointment had been made with the Fetal Medicine Doctor, but it turned out that it was made with a sonographer. We weren't happy with this as the doctor had told us 4 weeks ago that he wanted to see us today for a growth scan. I tried to speak to one of the midwives that was at the desk, who, frankly, wasn't very helpful. I should probably state at this point that she and my husband do not get on very well as a result of a heated conversation they had when I was pregnant with my last daughter. Anyway, to keep the peace, and because we desperately wanted to see Isabella and make sure everything was ok, we conceded and had the scan with the sonographer. Thankfully, the sonographer we got was a lovely woman who knew us from before as she had been the lady who diagnosed my last baby with hydrops, and she had scanned us at 9 weeks in this pregnancy. She confirmed that everything is progressing perfectly. Isabella now weighs in at approximately 1 lb 10 oz!!

After we had the scan, we went downstairs to see our antenatal consultant. I think we only had to wait for about 10 minutes before we were called. Now, in the antenatal clinic there is a playhouse and slide that my son LOVES to play in. It is always a nightmare to get him out when it is time to go. Anyway, today when we were called, and, as usual, monster boy kicked up a big fuss, our consultant told him that she had a surprise for him. So off we went to her office. Once there, she brought out a HUGE dinosaur that she said she had brought in especially for him as she remembered how much he liked them. We thought she had brought it in for him to play with while we were at our appointment, but she had actually brought it in for him to keep!! How lovely is that!! She definitely is a lovely person and we are very lucky to have her as our consultant, and, we feel, as our friend.

Well I'm off to make hubby something to eat, before he starts chewing on the sofa!! Men eh???

I'll check in again soon with any updates.

xxx

Happy Birthday Daddy!!!

2009-03-12T08:55:00.005Z

Today is my husband's birthday. He's knocking on a bit now...at 34 years old!! Think I'll have to trade him in for a younger model!! Only kidding dear;)

We (that is me and the monster boy!) woke him up at 07.30 this morning with a birthday cake (which my son made us eat some of!!) and presents. I got hubby a watercolour set (his new hobby) and my son got him a cookery book (he loves baking) and some choccies. No we are about to get ready and go out. So it's so far so good for daddy on his special day!!

Tomorrow is my next scan appointment and an appointment with my consultant. I'll check in again afterwards with an update.

xxx

To school, or not to school, that is the question???

2009-03-09T08:33:00.007Z

As mentioned in a previous post, my husband has been toying with the idea of home schooling our son. He is becoming increasingly disenchanted with what he is reading about our school system, and the stories he hears from parents who have put their children in school, only to remove them again after some appalling experiences.

Now, as I also mentioned, I have not been too keen on the idea. However, after listening to what he has found, I am starting to come round to his way of thinking. However, I do still have many reservations. I worry that my son will not get the chance to mix with other children enough. Is it possible that there is a home schooling network that we could join so that he gets the benefit of mixing with other children combined with an education that we feel would be far more beneficial to him? I also worry about how our decision will be welcomed, particularly by our LEA who, I understand, give home schooling families a very hard time.

If anyone who reads my blog home schools their children, please share your experience here. Any advice and/or tips you can give will be warmly welcomed. If anyone has an opinion on this topic, please feel free to share!!

xxx

2009-03-04T18:17:00.006Z

Hi There

Sorry for the delay in posting. Life is very busy at the moment!

I had my 22 week scan last Friday, and everything is progressing fabulously. Isabella is growing nicely, and everything looks as it should be! Here is the picture they took of her:

As promised, here is a copy of the scan picture they took at my 20 weeks scan (it's not brilliant I'm afraid!!) Sorry for not posting it sooner!!:

Anyway, as I say, things have been hectic at the moment. Work is very busy, and life at home is just the same! We've been buying a few bits for Isabella (I just can't help myself!!), but we're making sure that we include the little man. We don't want him feeling left out!

Well, I must go and sort out my washing (oh the joys of family life!!). I'll try and post again soon, when I get 5 minutes!!

Quick hello!

2009-02-20T08:57:00.004Z

Hi There

Sorry for the delay in posting again, but I've been quite busy this week! I just wanted to update you on my scan last week, which went swimmingly! Everything is looking good, and the doctor is happy with Isabella's progress. I'm having another reassurance scan next week, and then a growth scan 2 weeks later. So far, it's all system's go!

He did give us another scan picture, which I will eventually get around to posting...along with the other one I promised!!

Anyway, as I said, it's been busy this week. Lots of things happening at once, doesn't give you much time for anything else! I will try and post again in a few days. Sorry for the short post!

xx

Half way there!!

2009-02-09T18:46:00.003Z

We're 20 weeks today!! This is quite a milestone for us. Not just for the obvious reason that we're at the half way point, but also because we've passed the point when my daughter was diagnosed with hydrops fetalis - 19 weeks and 2 days. We have our 20 week scan on Friday. I'm doing everything in my power not to get myself worked up about this, but I can't help being a nervous wreck. Once we've had the scan and the doctor has, hopefully, told us that everything is fine, maybe we can relax a little - although probably not!

So, we went shopping at the weekend. I tried to find some maternity clothes. Not much luck I'm afraid. I managed to get my son some fantastic dinosaur tops from BHS. They had a great offer on - 3 for 2. He loves dinosaurs! I also picked up a lovely pink blanket for Isabella - I couldn't help myself! There are so many gorgeous outfits out there for her, I'm doing everything in my power to resist buying them!!

Anyway, I'll check in after my scan and let you know how everything is going.

xxx

It's a GIRL!!!!!!

2009-02-02T16:52:00.004Z

Yes, that's right. The doctor told us on Friday that he couldn't see any boy bits so he believes we have another girl on the way! From a medical point of view, everything is looking good so far. I've got another scan next week, when I'll be 20 weeks, and this is when we'll have our anomaly scan.

We've already come up with a name-there's a bit of a story behind this. I was trawling the net looking for name ideas, when this one popped up and I fell in love with it. At exactly the same time, my husband was reading a book and the exact name was written on the back. He too fell in love with it. As he came into the room, I told him that I had found the perfect name. When I told him, he stood in shock as he said that he had just thought of the same name.........Isabella! Looks like this is the name for her! Now we're trying to think of a middle name. It's proving to be quite difficult. Still we've got plenty of time to do that.

So it's snowing today. To many other countries this is a simple dusting, but to us it's blizard conditions!! It was a nightmare getting to work, the car was sliding all over the place, thanks to our useless council who couldn't be bothered to grit the roads. Luckily, my boss took pity on me and let me go home a bit early. Normally, I love the snow, I'm kind of a big kid at heart, but today, I HATED it!! My son, however, was in his element as the snow came up to his knees. He thought it was fantastic (it's the first time he's seen 'proper' snow). He went to the park and had a good play, demolishing other people's snow men!! I'm sure they weren't too pleased! It's expected to become more icy tomorrow, so who knows what will happen!

I do have a couple of scan pictures, but I have to wait for hubby to sort out the scanner to upload them. Once he's done this, I will post them.

xx

Touching base......

2009-01-28T18:53:00.003Z

So, I've been back at work for 3 days now, and boy have they been busy. It's like I've never been away. As quickly as you think you've finished something, another piece of work turns up. It's never ending, and very tiring! Still, it keeps me out of trouble!

I've only got one more day before my next scan, which I'm excited but VERY nervous about. I'm praying that all will be fabulous, and that with a bit of luck, we'll get to find out the baby's sex.

Anyway, my husband and I have been discussing our options regarding my son's education. I would prefer him to go to school, but my husband is very interested in home schooling him. I'm not too keen on this, but he has been doing a lot of research in to it and is growing more and more in favour of this. So, if possible, can you give me your opinion on this subject. I'd especially like to hear from parents who have home schooled or are considering home schooling. All opinions will be warmly welcomed!

Will update with details of the next scan etc.....

xxx

The potty antics continue.....

2009-01-24T09:25:00.002Z

As I mentioned previously, we have been trying to potty train my son. Well, so far so good! He will use the potty all the time when he is at home, even when he has bottoms on, usually! He's even starting to do number 2's in the potty now...yippeee!!!

Now to the difficult bit, how do I get him to go outside without a nappy on, keep dry and tell me when he needs to go? I've been using training pants wherever possible, but he doesn't tell me that he needs to go, he just goes! Any suggestions are very welcome!

So, today we're going to the cemetary to tend to my daughters grave. It's nice to be able to visit and spend time with her, but at the same time, an awful experience that no one should have to go through. Nevertheless, this is something that we must do as her parents. We will never forget, nor neglect her.

I'm back to work on Monday after a restful week off. I can certainly say that I'm not looking forward to it! I've been getting used to pottering around, spending time with my husband and son and generally just chilling. Oh well, that's life eh?

xxx

Bubba says hello.....

2009-01-22T11:51:00.004Z

My husband, son and I were just listening to the baby's hearbeat when I felt my first 'proper' kick!! I was so excited, I thought I'd share it with you!! We managed to capture the heartbeat and the kick, so here it is..........

The first kick is at 12 secs, the second (the one I felt!) is at 20 secs, and the third is at 44 secs.

By they way, I mentioned previously that my next scan was on the 26th. Well, I received a call from the hospital informing me that my consultant won't be in on that day, so they've moved my appointment to the 30th. I was a bit gutted because it means I have to wait an extra 4 days before we get to see bubba again. Oh well,will give you an update then.

xxx

Why?

2009-01-19T11:49:00.006Z

I've been looking around lately at the experience of some other families who have been diagnosed with a hydrops baby like mine. Many have opted, as I did, to fight for their baby's life. Some, however, have chosen to abort their baby. I personally have a hard time understanding this, primarily because I belive all life is sacred, no matter what. I also feel that the healing process and coming to terms with the situation is made easier if the pregnancy comes to a natural conclusion. And besides, even though the doctors say there is no chance, doesn't always mean they are right. Just ask some of the baby's out there who have survived inspite of the odds they were given!!

In addition, I am confused by taking this decision when a family have been told that there is no chance of survival. Surely it is more humane to all concerned to allow the baby to die naturally, as opposed to the alternative, which I understand is incredibly traumatic to both mum AND baby?

Many may not agree with me, but that's how I feel. I can appreciate how hard it is to come to a decision like that, but I personally could never end a pregnancy, regardless of what the outcome may be. That's just me. I'm not judging, just voicing an opinion.

xx

Moving along nicely........

2009-01-19T11:34:00.009Z

Last Friday I went and saw my consultant. She said that all is going very well and she is very pleased with our progress. We listened to the baby's heartbeat and she was very pleased! I told her that I have a doppler of my own, and she seemed supportive of this.

As promised, I've posted a couple of scan pictures taken at 14 weeks. As mentioned previously, I wasn't able to get any pictures at my last scan due to monster boy! I'll definitely try and get some at the next scan, which is due to take pleace on 26th of this month.

If you take a close look, especially at the first picture, you can see the baby has their hand on their face!! You can just make out the fingers!!

I'll check back in again after my next appointment with an update.

Another peek at bubba....

2009-01-12T18:17:00.003Z

So I had another scan today, and again, all is well. We managed to see quite alot today. Saw bubba having a good kick about and a bit of a drink! I think they even gave us a wave!! They even looked straight at us! We did ask if we could find the sex out, but no luck, although we did get what I think was a between the leg shot, so I've got a hunch, and it's just a hunch about the sex, but I'm, not revealing yet until we know for sure!! We'll try again at the next scan. So all in all, everything looks good so far.

I didn't manage to get a picture today as my monster son was causing mayhem in the scan room, and it was all I and my husband could do to get the scan done without the room being demolished!! Boys will be boys eh?!!!

I did manage to get a picture at the last scan a couple of weeks ago, so I'll try and post that one soon. I've got another scan in a couple of weeks time, so will try to get a picture then.

Other developments in my world include my gorgeous son starting to use the potty!! As long as we leave his bottoms off, he uses the potty no probs, but as soon as we put pants on, he pee's everywhere! So now we've got to teach him that pants are not nappies!!! I'm so proud of him getting this far in only a couple of days!! He'll get the hang of the rest soon, I'm sure!!

Anyway, will try and get that scan picture uploaded soon, and will update after the appointment on Friday.

The soothing sound of a tiny heart.....

2009-01-01T12:10:00.006Z

I just bought a fetal doppler (Sonotrax A) so that we could listen to baby's heartbeat. We've managed to record this and so have decided to upload this here.

While I'm writing, I'd just like to say to anyone condsidering purchasing a doppler, this is by far one of the best purchases I have ever made, and would recommend buying one to anyone. As you know, I'm 14 weeks at present and have been able to hear the heartbeat perfectly, and I'm not a thin person!! This doppler is brilliant!

Anyway, here is the heartbeat.........

HAPPY NEW YEAR xxx

Chit Chat about this n that........

2008-12-29T18:25:00.003Z

So, Christmas is out of the way....finally!! We had a quite a nice time actually. Visitied the inlaws xmas morning and my folks in the evening. Had dinner at home, just the three of us....which was nice. The run up to the big day was hectic to say the least. We seemed to run from one shop to the next trying to buy last minute pressies and food to cover us for the xmas period. It was all worth it in the end though.

Today we took my son to the museum, to see the dinosaurs. Well, the queues were huge and we never got in to actually see the exhibition itself (although we did see it a few months ago), but we did see a couple that were hanging around!! We managed to see some of the other exhibitions, which my son enjoyed, and we also had a picnic, which was lovely, apart from a family who rudely sat at our table without asking us first. Don't you just find that so annoying! We don't mind sharing , but at least have the decency to ask first!!

So, it's absolutely freezing at the moment, and as such, we're restricited on what we can do. We're hoping to take the boy to the park so we can try out the new kite that we bought. We'll have to see what happens. We have another scan (wellbeing) on Friday. Hopefully, all will be well. Will check in then, hopefully with good news.

Happy New Year to All xx

Quick update......

2008-12-21T09:56:00.002Z

So, I had yet another appointment on Friday with my obstetrician. She's very happy with progress so far. My BP is normal and the bloods were fine....which I'm relieved about!! So now I wait for my next scan, which will be on 2 Jan. Apparently, there isn't a clinic on that day, but they're going to come in especially for me!! Aren't I special!!

Today I went christmas shopping. WHAT A NIGHTMARE!! I managed to get most of the pressies I wanted to get, still got a couple left though!! And on top of that, I need to get food in. It's never ending!! Still, will be nice when ti's all done, eh?? At least the most important people are sorted!!

Well, that's all I've got to report for now. Just want to say merry christmas to everyone, and have a fabulous new year!!

xxx

12 week scan......

2008-12-16T18:52:00.004Z

Just to update you, I had my 12 week scan yesterday. Everything went well. Bubs is now 57.5mm long and is doing fine so far. I'm going to be scanned again in 4 weeks time by the fetal medicine guy, so I'll be able to give an update on baby's progress then.

As far as I go, I'm still feeling pretty sick and tired! I thought this was supposed to have stopped by now! I'm not going to complain too much, because this can only be good, but it's a pregnant woman's perogative to complain every now and again!! And to top it all off, I think I'm getting a cold...great :(

Thank God, I'm on annual leave from Friday for 2 weeks for xmas. Still got lots to do, but the boy is sorted, which is most important!! Got the tree and the decorations up, so we're getting into the spirit of things. I think this xmas is going to be hard without our daughter, but we need to keep our spirits up, if only for our son's sake.

Anyway, as much doesn't really happen in my life (!), I'll try and make another update in a few days time or so.

Merry xmas to all

xxx

9 Week Scan

2008-11-29T18:25:00.003Z

Well, thought I would give you a quick update about my 9 week scan, which I had yesterday. Everything went fine. Bubs is growing nicely....he/she is now 30mm long. We even saw bubs wiggling, which was a very nice surprise.

My consultant was very happy. My next appointment is in 2 weeks time, when I will be 12 weeks exactly, with the fetal medicine doctor. I'll let you know what the outcome of that appointment is, hopefully we will have even more good news!

I'm hoping to try and post some scan pictures soon....if I can sort out the scanner!!

Cheerio for now xx

More than the winter blues...

2008-11-22T15:30:00.003Z

This week has been particularly difficult.

First off, we attended a requiem mass on Thursday for all those who have passed away in the last year at our church. They announced that the oldest person to die this year was 91 years old, and the youngest was my daughter, at 28 weeks gestation. My husband was collared to do the readings, which took him by surprise to say the least (!), while I spent most of this mass in the porch as my son wouldn't stop talking so I had to take him outside so that he wouldn't disturb the mass!!

Secondly, today is 6 months exactly since my daughter was buried. We again went to visit her grave. When we got there another mum, who is a regular like us, was there visiting her baby boy. We stayed for a short while, before going home.

To top it all off, it's absolutely FREEZING today! Apparently, it's going to get colder....great:( Actually, I prefer the cold to the hot, although maybe not quite as cold as this!!

Anyway, I'm due my next scan on Friday. The nerves are creeping back in (although they never actually go away). I'm hoping and praying that all goes well. I'll keep you informed...........

7 week scan.......

2008-11-14T17:59:00.004Z

Today I went for my 7 week scan (well actually I'm 7 weeks and 4 days today).

I can definitely say that I didn't sleep a wink last night and was a total wreck this morning. When I got to the hospital I started crying before I even got in the scan room. I think the receptionist thought I was mad or something!

We went into the room and it felt like ages before the scan actually begun. I really thought that there wasn't a heartbeat, but then the sonographer turned and said that it was very good news, there is a heartbeat and everything looks absolutely perfect. Thank God! My consultant, a fabulous woman who made a heartbreaking and impossible situation somewhat bearable, came with us for the scan and, I think, was a s delighted with the news as we were!

So now I will have a scan again in 2 weeks time, and if all is alright then, then probably 2 weeks after that. We're trying to keep this pregnancy as normal a possible, but are mindful that we need to keep a very close eye on things.

Well, I'm back at work now, and it feels as though I've never been away. Things are really hectic and it's going to be difficult to tell them that I'm pregnant again, esp one of the managers who has been telling me that she doesn't want me to ever go on maternity leave again! But it's tough I'm afraid. This too is a very much wanted baby, and they're going have to deal with it!!

I'll check in again soon, when I have something interesting to update you with!!

6 Months on.....

2008-11-06T15:45:00.003Z

Today is 6 months since my baby girl passed away. It's been quite difficult to say the least. We visited her grave, which is something that I hate to do but feel that I must. As usual we cleaned up and laid fresh flowers while my son helped - he loves to help clean up and talk to his baby sister. I find it really difficult when he asks her to wake up or when he blows her a kiss goodbye.

I've found that time has flown by. It seems like only yesterday that everytihg happened. I'm going back to work on Monday. It's been 8 months since I was there, and I'm not looking forward to it at all!

Sunday will be 6 months since my baby was born. We'll visit her again. Our angel will always be part of our life. No matter what happens, we will always make sure she is looked after.

xxx

Hydrops Fetalis Community Forum

2008-11-06T08:03:00.003Z

I've been following a forum for a while now, details are as follows: http://www.hygen.net/hydrops-fetalis/viewforum.php?f=3

I'ts a great source of information and support - all of which is given by families who have gone through similar situations to mine. It is also a good source of hope and there are some success stories on there too.

I really hope you take a look at this forum, it's great!

My story........

2008-11-05T16:37:00.008Z

I'm new to blogging. I've read a few in the past, but never actually created one myself. I've found, from my limited experience, that blogs can be very helpful to people out there. They offer comfort to those who feel alone. They can also be a great source of information.

I've decided to set up this blog to reach out to those parents who have just been given the devastating news that their precious unborn baby is suffering with a serious condition called Hydrops Fetalis. I'm hoping that this blog will evolve into something that can offer support and advice, both from myself and other's out there who have experienced, or are experiencing a similar situation to mine.

So to tell my story (I should warn you that this is going to be a very long post)......................

First I should begin by telling you that I have a beautiful boy who is 2 1/2 years old. He is a complete monkey - a typical boy! Into everything, never sits still and NEVER stops talking. He loves Dinosaurs and Super Why. He also loves to read and draw. He is fabulous in every way. He is my first child.

I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd child (although I have had 3 previous miscarriages) in November 2007. Everything progressed smoothly. My first scan at 7 weeks showed a heartbeat, and my next scan at 12 weeks showed that everything was fine.

Then, at 19 weeks I woke up to find a small amount of spotting upon visiting the bathroom. I totally freaked! I rang the hospital straight away and they told me to come in so they could take a look.

When I arrived at the hospital the midwife listened to the baby's heartbeat - perfectly normal, and strong. But for the fact that my husband kicked up a fuss, they would have sent me home without having a scan first! So to the scan room........

I'm lying there, relived that there was a heartbeat, and assuming that the scan was a formality. I then start to become worried as the sonographer is taking longer and longer with the scan. She eventually turns to me and says that she has found fluid in my baby's chest cavity (both sides), and that she would need to refer me to a consultant. She also tells me that my baby is going to be a girl.

Before I know it I'm being seen by a consultant. She has a look at the baby and tells me that she has bilateral pleural effusions (fluid in both sides of her chest). She informs me that this condition is potentially very serious and that they would need to send me to a very prominent children's Hospital for a detailed scan of my baby's heart. They give me an appointment for 2 days later.

2 days later and we are at our appointment. The doctors are very friendly and very efficient. Silence in the room as the scan is carried out. My husband can see everything, and I, as usual, cannot see a thing! The scan is finished and the doctor turns to inform me that my baby's heart is fine, and that everything appears to be functioning as it should. He does not believe the effusions are being caused by the heart. He does note a significant mediastinal shift to the right, which has been caused by the fluid.

So, back to our hospital with the results 5 days later. We are scanned again. My baby's condition is deteriorating so that now she has fluid in her abdomen (ascities) and moderate swelling in the skin around her head. I'm totally devastated, but determined to carry on. They then take blood samples from me to check for infections etc. The consultant - a very negative man who is hell bent on my 'terminating the pregnancy', informs me that if the hydrops is not caused by an infection then it is most likely genetic in nature and the prognosis is dire. He says that we should wait for the blood test results and then take it from there.

1 week later and we're back at the hospital again. The blood test results are in - negative. Things go from bad to worse as my daughter's condition worsens, along with her prognosis. We ask what the next course of action is. Again we are offered the option of 'termination' - not a chance in hell!! We are then told that the only treatment that is available is to insert shunts (drains) in to the baby's chest through my abdomen. There is a risk of miscarriage with the procedure, but this is our only option. We are given an appointment for 1 week later at another hospital.

Our appointment arrives and in we go for yet another scan. The consultant takes a look at the baby and informs us that there is an 20% chance that our daughter will survive with the shunts, and 100% chance that she will die if we don't have them. No prizes for guessing what decision we made!!

Ahead with the procedure....A large sharp instrument (which I can only describe as something that looks a bit like a letter opener) is inserted into my abdomen under local anaesthetic and through to my uterus. It is then pushed through into my daughter's chest before 2 drains are inserted (one on each side of her chest). The procedure takes about 5-10 minutes. Done. We are then sent home and told to return to our local hospital in 2 weeks time for review.

At review 2 weeks later it is found that my daughter's condition has deteriorated and that, in the consultant's opinion, the shunts have not worked. That's it as far as he is concerned. Not for me though! After researching on the net I stumble across a doctor in Denmark who has experience in this field. I contact her for advice. She tells me to get in contact with a doctor in London. He is the world's leading expert in fetal medicine, so if anyone can help, he can.........

So we are refered and given an appointment for a few days later.

We attend our appointment and again are scanned, this time by about 4 different people. They are all amazed at the amount of swelling my daughter has and are surprised that I am not suffering with any swelling or polyhydramnios. They refer me to the Professor. After waiting for hours, we get seen. He takes a good look at my baby, then turns to me and says: "Do you want to do everything no matter what?" We reply yes. He then says that he will re-do the shunts.

So the procedure is carried out again. This time, for some reason, it is different this time, and it makes me feel quite ill - to the point wherre I actually throw up!

We are sent home and asked to return in one week for review.

Our next appointment arrives. We wait anxiously for ages before being called in. I lie down on the bed and get ready for the scan - I'm now a total expert at this! The doctor starts to scan me. He then turns around and says "it's a miracle!". The fluid had almost completely gone, in just one week! There was a minute amount of swelling around my daughter's scalp, but that's all. This news greatly improved my daughter's prognosis, and we were informed that the cause of the hydrops was most likely mechanical in nature (although genetic syndromes could not be completely ruled out). We were asked to return in 2 weeks time for review.

2 weeks later and we are back at the hospital - bad news. It appears that the fluid is reaccumulating. The doctor believes that the shunts may be blocked - AGAIN! Not only this, but the blood flow in the umbilical cord is intermittent and they are worried about my baby's size. They inform me that I will need to return in 1 weeks time for review. If the fluid has gotten worse, then shunts will need to be done again. If the blood flow has stopped, the baby will need to be delivered.....

Now to the worst day/night of my life.................

On a number of occasions since this journey began I went to my local hospital because I was worried that my daughter wasn't moving. Everytime she was fine.

The morning of my last appointment I again felt as though my baby had not been moving, so I went to my hospital to get checked out. They listened to her heart then scanned me and said she was fine. Her heart was strong and she was moving. I'm told to keep my appointment for later that day.

So to our appointment. I'm scanned again, and bad news is delivered. The swelling is getting worse and the flow in the cord has stopped. Also, our daughter has stopped growing. We are told that the shunts will need to be done again, and that delivery is not an option. So we are prepared for the procedure.

Prof takes a look at my daughter and is concerned about her heart rate. She apparently has a bradycardic episode which sponateously recovers, so they are happy to continue. The first shunt goes in fine - no problems. The seconed shunt goes in, and an air of uncertainty develops. My daughter's heart rate drops significantly. I'm told that this is common and should resolve. I'm sent off for monitoring. The midwife attaches the CTG monitor to me, but has difficulty in locating a heartbeat. She eventually finds one - 55bpm. She takes me back to the scan room to be re-scanned. The professor returns and announces that the baby requires emergency resuscitation. Blood will need to be taken from me and transfused directly into my daughter......they begin. A needle is passed through me into my baby's cord and blood is given with no luck. The needle is then placed directly into my daughter's heart. Her heart rate picks up momentarily, but then drops. The procedure is stopped. No blood is flowing through the cord or to the brain. My daughter is dying and there is nothing that can be done. We watch on the screen as her heart contracts slowly, the monitor is then turned off. Amidst all of this I, my husband and in fact the whole room became covered in blood - I'm not sure how. The room went from about 30 people (mostly spectators) to just me, my husband, the midwife and a doctor.

We are told that labour will need to be induced the next day. We go and see our consultant at the local hospital. She gives me a tablet and tells me to return the following day. So we return to the hospital. I'm given my first dose of Prostin gel. 6 hours later- nothing. Another dose is administered and I'm allowed home to tuck my son into bed. The contractions start. By the time I get back to the hospital they are getting bad. Before I know it, I'm 6-7cm dilated. I'm given an epidural, thank God!! My daughter was born still at 04:24am on 09 May 2008. She weighed 2lb 5 1/2 oz, and she was beautiful. We held her for ages before she had to go. Then we go home............

So here I am now, 6 months later, writing this blog. It's been difficult getting here, but I have. I've had many down's and not many up's, but that's how it goes I suppose. My son has definitely been my saving grace through all of this. Without him I don't know what would have happened.

Now to my good news - I'm pregnant. I'm 6 weeks gone and due on 29 June 2009. I'm a bag of nerves. I'm desperately afraid I'm going to have another miscarriage, or worse still, another sick baby. But no matter what, I will see this pregnancy through to the end. I've been told that there is a 20% chance that I could have another hydropic baby, please God let this baby be in the 80% that won't...........